Power vs. Force: Find Your Level and Move Your Team to Courage
Patrick Bet-David
People at the bottom of the consciousness ladder force outcomes and lose them; the first level where you gain real power is courage, so aim yourself and your people there first.
In a 12-minute teaching block before introducing Floyd Mayweather, Patrick Bet-David walked the audience through the 'map of consciousness' from David R. Hawkins's book Power vs. Force, which he says he read about 25 years ago and which changed his life. The ladder runs from shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, and pride (the 'force' levels) up through courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, and on to love, joy, peace, and enlightenment (the 'power' levels). His argument: people who cannot hold on to money or success keep sliding back because their identity sits at a low level, and the first practical breakthrough is courage. He uses the chart with his children, salespeople, and executives, and told the room to put it on the wall and train their teams on it. A long prank story he told to illustrate 'acceptance' is omitted here as it contains no usable lesson.
Best for: Leaders whose income or results spike and then collapse back to an old baseline, Sales managers coaching people who fear rejection, Business partners renegotiating roles or equity, Executives who want to be seen as fair by the people who work for them, Parents teaching children how to name and move past fear
Skills to build
The capabilities underneath the stories, each with a way to practise it.
Locating yourself on the consciousness ladder
Naming honestly which level is driving you right now (shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, pride, courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason). Bet-David said everyone in the room would 'get scored' and recognise the level they crossed and where they slipped back.
How to practise: Once a week, pick your biggest open decision and write down the emotion underneath your current position in one word from the ladder. Then write the word one rung up and one action that would express it. You know it is working when you catch yourself at fear or pride before you act, not after.
22:37:39 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Acting with courage on the decision you are avoiding
Courage is the first level where you are free and gain power. Bet-David's examples: taking a risk, making the investment, hiring the executive you are not comfortable paying yet, and getting up to speak in front of an audience.
How to practise: Keep a running list of decisions you have been sitting on for more than two weeks. Each Monday, pick one and do the uncomfortable version of it. Track how many items age past 30 days; that number should fall over the year.
22:40:07 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Neutrality: listening to both sides before deciding
Being willing to hear the case against your own idea and choose what is best, not what is yours. Bet-David described selling his executives on an idea he had been excited about for three months, then killing it after two hours of questions showed it was wrong.
How to practise: Before committing resources to any idea you love, hold a meeting whose only purpose is to hear the strongest case against it. Ask questions instead of defending. Write down what changed your mind, or what did not and why.
22:41:14 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Willingness: keeping a partnership movable
Being willing to work with, listen to, and renegotiate with a partner, including hearing that you are contributing less than before and adjusting equity to keep the relationship growing. He said partners who make it work 'have to be in this calibration area'.
How to practise: Twice a year, ask each business partner directly whether they feel the current split of work and reward is fair. Listen without interrupting. If they say no, propose one concrete adjustment within a week.
22:41:54 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Acceptance: letting people be different from you
Accepting that a colleague or partner operates differently, rather than trying to change them or holding it against them. His example was accepting that his long-time business partner Tom Ellsworth is different from him.
How to practise: Pick the one person on your team whose style irritates you most. Write three things their difference makes possible that your style does not. Re-read it before your next meeting with them.
22:42:25 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Reason: being the leader people call fair
At the level of reason, people who work for you say 'I don't like the decision he made, but he is fair.' Bet-David said retention rises the moment your people describe you that way.
How to practise: Every quarter, ask five people who report to you, anonymously if needed: would you call me fair, and when was I not? Change one decision-making habit based on the answers.
22:46:22 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Coaching others up the ladder
Using the chart as a shared vocabulary with your kids, salespeople, and peers: show them where they are (for example, fear of rejection) and name the first target, courage.
How to practise: Put the chart on the wall. In one-on-ones, when someone is stuck, ask them to point to their level. Agree on the single action that would move them one rung. Repeat until they do it without you.
22:46:51 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Frameworks, lists & numbers
The map of consciousness (Hawkins, Power vs. Force), as taught on stage
From bottom to top: shame (humiliation), guilt (blame), apathy (despair), grief (regret), fear (anxiety), desire (craving, the negative kind), anger (hate), pride (ego). Then the line into power: courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, love, joy, peace, enlightenment. Bet-David pointed to page 74 of his edition for the chart. Not stated on stage but useful: the book assigns courage a calibration of 200 and treats it as the threshold between force and power.
Force vs. power
People at the bottom of the chart try to force outcomes. People at the top have power and attract outcomes because their identity is higher. Same goal, opposite mechanism.
The identity ceiling
His examples: someone goes from $88,000 to $400,000 and falls back to $72,000; from $500,000 back to $78,000; hand them $5 million or $10 million and they lose it. The cause is identity level, not opportunity.
Courage first
The number one goal for every person you lead (kids, employees, peers, salespeople) is to reach courage: the courage to take a risk, make the investment, hire the executive you are not comfortable paying yet, or speak in front of an audience.
The two-hour neutrality test
Bet-David sold his executives on an idea he had loved for three months and was about to assign an engineering team to. Two hours of questions with an executive who had a study showing otherwise ended with him saying 'You are right, this is a bad idea.' The more questions he asked, the clearer it got.
The willingness equity example
A partner tells you that you contribute less than before. The willing response: 'I think the 50 percent I'm getting is a lot right now. I'm happy to sell 20 percent of it for you to go to 30 percent,' because the relationship matters more than the number.
The fairness retention signal
When your people start saying 'I don't like the decision, but he is fair,' you are operating at reason, and retention goes up. Fairness is something you can ask your team about directly.
Reading instruction
The first three chapters of Power vs. Force are very slow; commit to reaching chapter four, where the chart and the argument arrive.
What matters
17 insights, each with the moment it was said.
Income yo-yos are an identity problem, not a money problem
Bet-David described people who go from $88,000 to $400,000 and back to $72,000, or who would lose $5 million or $10 million if handed it. His diagnosis: their identity sits at a low level of consciousness, so they cannot hold what they briefly reach. Raise the identity and the results stop sliding back.
22:37:44 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Force is at the bottom, power is at the top
People at low levels try to force things to happen. People at high levels have power and attract results because their identity is higher. The ladder is a way to notice when you are pushing and to ask what a higher-level response would be.
22:38:27 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Shame is the lowest place a person can operate from
Shame is humiliation; guilt is blaming yourself; apathy is despair; grief is constant regret ('I should have never done that'). These levels produce almost no useful action. Recognising them by name is the first step out.
22:38:46 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Fear produces anxiety, desire produces craving
The 'desire' on this chart is not the positive ambition Bet-David usually talks about; it is negative craving. Fear and craving both keep a person reacting instead of choosing.
22:39:20 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Anger is a step up, because at least you are expressing something
Anger sits above fear, grief, apathy, guilt, and shame. Someone who is angry is at least saying how they feel, which Bet-David called a positive sign. It is not the destination, but it is movement.
22:39:41 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Pride is useful because it makes you do something
Pride is above anger because pride will not let you be proven wrong, so you act. But it still sits on the force side of the line, and it is exactly what neutrality later has to overcome.
22:39:56 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Courage is the first level of freedom
Courage is where you cross from force to power: the courage to take the risk, make the investment, hire the expensive executive before you feel ready, or get up on stage. It is the level Bet-David wants every kid, employee, and salesperson to reach first.
22:40:07 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Public speaking is a courage test most people fail on purpose
He asked who hated public speaking and joked that some would never return if put on stage. Lining up at the microphone to share your story or give an answer, even when you might get cut off, is a small, real act of courage available to anyone.
22:40:28 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Neutrality means you do not care whether the good idea was yours
In a boardroom, a neutral leader listens to both sides and picks what is best. Bet-David dropped a project he had championed for three months after two hours of questions, because he was willing to hear the other side rather than protect his pride.
22:41:22 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Asking more questions is how neutrality shows up in practice
The more questions he asked the executive who disagreed, the clearer it became the idea was wrong. Questions, not defences, are the behaviour that separates neutrality from pride.
22:41:35 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Partnerships survive only in the willingness zone
Willingness is 'I'm willing to work with you, I'm willing to listen to you.' His example: hearing a partner say you contribute less than before and agreeing to sell 20 percent of your stake so they go from 50 to 30 percent, because the relationship matters more than the split.
22:42:01 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Acceptance is letting a partner be who they are
After willingness comes accepting that another person is simply different from you. Bet-David framed his long partnership with Tom Ellsworth this way. Acceptance saves the energy spent trying to make others operate like you.
22:42:29 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Fairness is the visible sign of reason, and it drives retention
At the level of reason you can reason with people, and they say 'this guy is fair.' The moment employees describe you that way, even when they dislike a decision, retention goes up. Fairness is a leadership metric you can actually ask about.
22:46:22 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Above reason sit love, joy, peace, and enlightenment
Bet-David named the top levels without dwelling on them. The practical business range is courage through reason; the higher levels describe a way of being rather than a tactic.
22:46:45 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Fear of rejection has an address on the chart
For a salesperson afraid of rejection, he simply points to the chart: you are at fear. Naming the level removes the mystery and gives the person a target one or two rungs up instead of a vague instruction to 'be more confident'.
22:46:58 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4A team's level of consciousness is trainable
He trains the chart to his people 'all the time' so they become better teammates, better decision makers, and better individuals, people you look forward to working with. Treat consciousness as a team skill, not a private trait.
22:47:21 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4The book is slow for three chapters; push through
His only reading instruction: the first three chapters of Power vs. Force are very slow and you have to reach the fourth. The chart itself is on page 74 of his edition.
22:47:16 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Claude skills from this session
Each one is a SKILL.md Claude can run with you. Open to read; copy or download; drop into ~/.claude/skills/.
Exercises & frameworks to run
Steps and the finished output for each. Speaker exercises and our written-out steps are labelled.
Score yourself on the ladder
- Write the levels top to bottom: enlightenment, peace, joy, love, reason, acceptance, willingness, neutrality, courage | pride, anger, desire, fear, grief, apathy, guilt, shame.
- Draw the line between courage and pride. Above it is power; below it is force.
- For your business, your money, and your closest relationship, mark honestly the level you are operating from this month.
- Mark the highest level you have ever reached in each, and note when and why you slipped back.
- Circle the single rung you will aim for next in each area.
Finish with: A three-column self-score with a next target for business, money, and relationships.
Evidence: 22:37:39 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4The courage list
- List every decision you have been avoiding for more than two weeks: a hire, an investment, a hard conversation, a stage you have been asked to speak on.
- Next to each, write the fear underneath it in one honest sentence.
- Write the courageous version of the decision as one concrete action with a date.
- Do the first one this week.
- Cross it off and add the next one to the top.
Finish with: A live list of avoided decisions, with the oldest ones cleared first.
Evidence: 22:40:14 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4The two-hour neutrality meeting
- Take the idea you are most excited about and have not yet funded or staffed.
- Ask two or three trusted people to prepare the strongest case against it.
- In the meeting, your only job is to ask questions. No defending.
- At the end, write one paragraph: what I now believe, and what changed.
- If the idea dies, say so out loud to the team: 'You are right, this is a bad idea for us.'
Finish with: A funded idea you can defend on evidence, or a bad idea killed before it cost you an engineering team.
Evidence: 22:41:24 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Partnership willingness check-in
- Sit down with each business partner and ask: do you feel my contribution matches my share right now?
- Listen fully before responding. Ask what they would change.
- If they believe the split is off, propose one concrete adjustment (role, pay, or equity) within a week.
- Write down the agreement and the date you will revisit it.
Finish with: A partnership where both people can say the split still reflects reality.
Evidence: 22:42:06 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Acceptance inventory
- Name the colleague or partner whose way of operating most frustrates you.
- List the three differences that bother you.
- For each, write what that difference makes possible for the business that your way does not.
- Decide which differences you will stop trying to change.
Finish with: A short written reframe you can re-read before your next meeting with that person.
Evidence: 22:42:29 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4The fairness survey
- Ask five people who report to you, anonymously if possible: 'Would you describe me as fair? When was I not?'
- Collect the answers without responding.
- Look for the pattern in the 'when was I not' answers.
- Pick one decision habit to change and tell the team what it is.
Finish with: A fairness baseline you can re-measure next quarter.
Evidence: 22:46:29 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Chart-on-the-wall team training
- Print the ladder large and put it where the team meets.
- Walk the team through it once, level by level, using your own examples of where you have been.
- In every one-on-one where someone is stuck, ask them to point to their level.
- Agree the first target together: courage.
- Name the single action that would express courage this week.
Finish with: A team with shared vocabulary for where they are and where they are going.
Evidence: 22:47:21 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4Rejection reframe for a salesperson
- When a salesperson is afraid to make calls, show them the chart and ask where they are. Expect 'fear'.
- Point to courage and ask what one call made with courage would look like.
- Have them make that call in front of you.
- Debrief only on the level they operated from, not on the outcome.
Finish with: A salesperson who can name fear and act past it.
Evidence: 22:46:58 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4What to do — and how often
Your checkmarks are saved on this device and shared with the Playbook.
- Once, this month speaker-statedEvidence: 22:47:16 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
- Once, this week speaker-statedEvidence: 22:47:21 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
- Speaker said 'all the time'; we suggest a monthly refresher plus use in every one-on-one speaker-statedEvidence: 22:47:21 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
- Every Monday morning our recommendationEvidence: 22:37:39 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
- Every week our recommendationEvidence: 22:40:14 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
- Before every major project commitment; at least quarterly our recommendationEvidence: 22:41:24 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
- Every six months our recommendationEvidence: 22:42:06 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
- Every quarter our recommendationEvidence: 22:46:29 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
- Once this quarter our recommendationEvidence: 22:40:50 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
- Once, then whenever they are stuck speaker-statedEvidence: 22:46:53 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
Quotes in context
“Everything is about level of consciousness of where you're at.”
Patrick Bet-DavidOpening the teaching on the Power vs. Force chart.22:37:31 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“Give them 10 million bucks, they will lose it. Why is that? It's their identity.”
Patrick Bet-DavidWhy some people cannot hold on to money or success.22:38:09 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“People at the bottom try to force things to happen in their lives.”
Patrick Bet-DavidThe force side of the chart.22:38:27 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“That is the lowest level of consciousness any one of us can have in life.”
Patrick Bet-DavidOn shame, the bottom rung.22:38:49 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“So, anger, at least you're expressing how you feel.”
Patrick Bet-DavidWhy anger ranks above fear, grief, apathy, guilt, and shame.22:39:48 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“Have the courage to get up and share your story.”
Patrick Bet-DavidCourage as the first level of power, illustrated with public speaking.22:40:57 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“Neutrality is somebody that's willing to listen to both sides”
Patrick Bet-DavidDefining the level above courage.22:41:16 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“Because I'm willing to listen to both sides rather than just have a pride.”
Patrick Bet-DavidAfter killing his own three-month idea in a two-hour meeting.22:41:48 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“Business partners who make it work, they have to be in this calibration area.”
Patrick Bet-DavidOn willingness as the minimum level for a lasting partnership.22:42:01 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“I'm willing cuz this relationship matters to me and I want us to grow together.”
Patrick Bet-DavidExample of agreeing to reduce his own equity to keep a partnership healthy.22:42:17 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“I don't like what she just did, but she is fair.”
Patrick Bet-DavidWhat employees say about a leader operating at the level of reason.22:46:40 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“People that are afraid of rejection, you simply go and say look where you are.”
Patrick Bet-DavidUsing the chart to coach salespeople.22:46:58 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“The first three chapters are super slow, you got to make it to the fourth one.”
Patrick Bet-DavidHis reading instruction for Power vs. Force.22:47:16 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“Take this, put it on the wall, train it to your guys all the time to help your team increase level of consciousness.”
Patrick Bet-DavidThe closing instruction of the segment.22:47:21 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
“So, they become better teammates, they become better decision makers, they become better individuals, and you look forward to working with these types of people.”
Patrick Bet-DavidThe payoff of training a team on the ladder.22:47:29 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4
Questions to ask yourself
- Which level on the ladder is actually driving my biggest decision this month: fear, pride, or courage?
- Where have I reached a level of income or success and slid back, and what identity was I carrying at the time?
- What is the investment, hire, or conversation I know I need and have not had the courage to make?
- When did I last change my mind in a meeting because someone else had better evidence?
- Would my business partner say my share still matches my contribution? Have I asked?
- Who on my team do I keep trying to change instead of accept?
- Would the people who work for me call me fair, even when they dislike my decisions?
- If I showed my salespeople this chart, where would they honestly point?
Watch-outs
- Treating the ladder as a way to rank people's worth rather than as a vocabulary for where someone is right now and what one rung up looks like.
- Mistaking pride for strength: pride gets you to act, but it is what stops you hearing the case against your own idea.
- Confusing the 'desire' on this chart (negative craving) with healthy ambition; Bet-David was explicit that they are different.
- Committing engineers and budget to an idea you love before running a real meeting to hear the other side.
- Refusing to renegotiate a partnership split when your contribution has changed, and losing the partner over the number.
- Note: the Hawkins scale is a book framework, not a validated psychological instrument; use it as a reflection tool, not a diagnosis.
- Note: Bet-David's long prank story about a flight and a colleague, told to illustrate acceptance, has been omitted as it contains no usable lesson and includes off-colour content.