# Power vs. Force: Find Your Level and Move Your Team to Courage **Speaker:** Patrick Bet-David **When:** 2026-09-01 · 10:35 PM–10:47 PM ET (7:35 PM Las Vegas) **Theme:** Discipline & foundation **Sources:** sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4 **Notes page:** https://vault.chels.ai/sessions/d1-power-vs-force/ > **People at the bottom of the consciousness ladder force outcomes and lose them; the first level where you gain real power is courage, so aim yourself and your people there first.** In a 12-minute teaching block before introducing Floyd Mayweather, Patrick Bet-David walked the audience through the 'map of consciousness' from David R. Hawkins's book Power vs. Force, which he says he read about 25 years ago and which changed his life. The ladder runs from shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, and pride (the 'force' levels) up through courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, and on to love, joy, peace, and enlightenment (the 'power' levels). His argument: people who cannot hold on to money or success keep sliding back because their identity sits at a low level, and the first practical breakthrough is courage. He uses the chart with his children, salespeople, and executives, and told the room to put it on the wall and train their teams on it. A long prank story he told to illustrate 'acceptance' is omitted here as it contains no usable lesson. **Best for:** Leaders whose income or results spike and then collapse back to an old baseline; Sales managers coaching people who fear rejection; Business partners renegotiating roles or equity; Executives who want to be seen as fair by the people who work for them; Parents teaching children how to name and move past fear ## Claude skills from this session - `power-vs-force-level-check` — Score yourself, a decision, or a team member on the Power vs. Force map of consciousness (shame up through pride on the force side; courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason on the power side), name the one rung up, and run the team-training version with the chart on the wall. Use whenever the user mentions fear of rejection, avoiding a hire or investment, income that spikes and falls back, a partnership renegotiation, being seen as fair by staff, coaching a salesperson or a child through fear, or asks "what level am I at" — even if they never mention Hawkins or the book. https://vault.chels.ai/skills/power-vs-force-level-check/SKILL.md ## Skills to build - **Locating yourself on the consciousness ladder** — Naming honestly which level is driving you right now (shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, pride, courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason). Bet-David said everyone in the room would 'get scored' and recognise the level they crossed and where they slipped back. _How to practise:_ Once a week, pick your biggest open decision and write down the emotion underneath your current position in one word from the ladder. Then write the word one rung up and one action that would express it. You know it is working when you catch yourself at fear or pride before you act, not after. - **Acting with courage on the decision you are avoiding** — Courage is the first level where you are free and gain power. Bet-David's examples: taking a risk, making the investment, hiring the executive you are not comfortable paying yet, and getting up to speak in front of an audience. _How to practise:_ Keep a running list of decisions you have been sitting on for more than two weeks. Each Monday, pick one and do the uncomfortable version of it. Track how many items age past 30 days; that number should fall over the year. - **Neutrality: listening to both sides before deciding** — Being willing to hear the case against your own idea and choose what is best, not what is yours. Bet-David described selling his executives on an idea he had been excited about for three months, then killing it after two hours of questions showed it was wrong. _How to practise:_ Before committing resources to any idea you love, hold a meeting whose only purpose is to hear the strongest case against it. Ask questions instead of defending. Write down what changed your mind, or what did not and why. - **Willingness: keeping a partnership movable** — Being willing to work with, listen to, and renegotiate with a partner, including hearing that you are contributing less than before and adjusting equity to keep the relationship growing. He said partners who make it work 'have to be in this calibration area'. _How to practise:_ Twice a year, ask each business partner directly whether they feel the current split of work and reward is fair. Listen without interrupting. If they say no, propose one concrete adjustment within a week. - **Acceptance: letting people be different from you** — Accepting that a colleague or partner operates differently, rather than trying to change them or holding it against them. His example was accepting that his long-time business partner Tom Ellsworth is different from him. _How to practise:_ Pick the one person on your team whose style irritates you most. Write three things their difference makes possible that your style does not. Re-read it before your next meeting with them. - **Reason: being the leader people call fair** — At the level of reason, people who work for you say 'I don't like the decision he made, but he is fair.' Bet-David said retention rises the moment your people describe you that way. _How to practise:_ Every quarter, ask five people who report to you, anonymously if needed: would you call me fair, and when was I not? Change one decision-making habit based on the answers. - **Coaching others up the ladder** — Using the chart as a shared vocabulary with your kids, salespeople, and peers: show them where they are (for example, fear of rejection) and name the first target, courage. _How to practise:_ Put the chart on the wall. In one-on-ones, when someone is stuck, ask them to point to their level. Agree on the single action that would move them one rung. Repeat until they do it without you. ## What matters - **Income yo-yos are an identity problem, not a money problem:** Bet-David described people who go from $88,000 to $400,000 and back to $72,000, or who would lose $5 million or $10 million if handed it. His diagnosis: their identity sits at a low level of consciousness, so they cannot hold what they briefly reach. Raise the identity and the results stop sliding back. _(Evidence: 22:37:44 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Force is at the bottom, power is at the top:** People at low levels try to force things to happen. People at high levels have power and attract results because their identity is higher. The ladder is a way to notice when you are pushing and to ask what a higher-level response would be. _(Evidence: 22:38:27 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Shame is the lowest place a person can operate from:** Shame is humiliation; guilt is blaming yourself; apathy is despair; grief is constant regret ('I should have never done that'). These levels produce almost no useful action. Recognising them by name is the first step out. _(Evidence: 22:38:46 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Fear produces anxiety, desire produces craving:** The 'desire' on this chart is not the positive ambition Bet-David usually talks about; it is negative craving. Fear and craving both keep a person reacting instead of choosing. _(Evidence: 22:39:20 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Anger is a step up, because at least you are expressing something:** Anger sits above fear, grief, apathy, guilt, and shame. Someone who is angry is at least saying how they feel, which Bet-David called a positive sign. It is not the destination, but it is movement. _(Evidence: 22:39:41 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Pride is useful because it makes you do something:** Pride is above anger because pride will not let you be proven wrong, so you act. But it still sits on the force side of the line, and it is exactly what neutrality later has to overcome. _(Evidence: 22:39:56 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Courage is the first level of freedom:** Courage is where you cross from force to power: the courage to take the risk, make the investment, hire the expensive executive before you feel ready, or get up on stage. It is the level Bet-David wants every kid, employee, and salesperson to reach first. _(Evidence: 22:40:07 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Public speaking is a courage test most people fail on purpose:** He asked who hated public speaking and joked that some would never return if put on stage. Lining up at the microphone to share your story or give an answer, even when you might get cut off, is a small, real act of courage available to anyone. _(Evidence: 22:40:28 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Neutrality means you do not care whether the good idea was yours:** In a boardroom, a neutral leader listens to both sides and picks what is best. Bet-David dropped a project he had championed for three months after two hours of questions, because he was willing to hear the other side rather than protect his pride. _(Evidence: 22:41:22 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Asking more questions is how neutrality shows up in practice:** The more questions he asked the executive who disagreed, the clearer it became the idea was wrong. Questions, not defences, are the behaviour that separates neutrality from pride. _(Evidence: 22:41:35 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Partnerships survive only in the willingness zone:** Willingness is 'I'm willing to work with you, I'm willing to listen to you.' His example: hearing a partner say you contribute less than before and agreeing to sell 20 percent of your stake so they go from 50 to 30 percent, because the relationship matters more than the split. _(Evidence: 22:42:01 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Acceptance is letting a partner be who they are:** After willingness comes accepting that another person is simply different from you. Bet-David framed his long partnership with Tom Ellsworth this way. Acceptance saves the energy spent trying to make others operate like you. _(Evidence: 22:42:29 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Fairness is the visible sign of reason, and it drives retention:** At the level of reason you can reason with people, and they say 'this guy is fair.' The moment employees describe you that way, even when they dislike a decision, retention goes up. Fairness is a leadership metric you can actually ask about. _(Evidence: 22:46:22 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Above reason sit love, joy, peace, and enlightenment:** Bet-David named the top levels without dwelling on them. The practical business range is courage through reason; the higher levels describe a way of being rather than a tactic. _(Evidence: 22:46:45 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **Fear of rejection has an address on the chart:** For a salesperson afraid of rejection, he simply points to the chart: you are at fear. Naming the level removes the mystery and gives the person a target one or two rungs up instead of a vague instruction to 'be more confident'. _(Evidence: 22:46:58 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **A team's level of consciousness is trainable:** He trains the chart to his people 'all the time' so they become better teammates, better decision makers, and better individuals, people you look forward to working with. Treat consciousness as a team skill, not a private trait. _(Evidence: 22:47:21 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ - **The book is slow for three chapters; push through:** His only reading instruction: the first three chapters of Power vs. Force are very slow and you have to reach the fourth. The chart itself is on page 74 of his edition. _(Evidence: 22:47:16 / sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4)_ ## Frameworks, lists & numbers - **The map of consciousness (Hawkins, Power vs. Force), as taught on stage** — From bottom to top: shame (humiliation), guilt (blame), apathy (despair), grief (regret), fear (anxiety), desire (craving, the negative kind), anger (hate), pride (ego). Then the line into power: courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, love, joy, peace, enlightenment. Bet-David pointed to page 74 of his edition for the chart. Not stated on stage but useful: the book assigns courage a calibration of 200 and treats it as the threshold between force and power. - **Force vs. power** — People at the bottom of the chart try to force outcomes. People at the top have power and attract outcomes because their identity is higher. Same goal, opposite mechanism. - **The identity ceiling** — His examples: someone goes from $88,000 to $400,000 and falls back to $72,000; from $500,000 back to $78,000; hand them $5 million or $10 million and they lose it. The cause is identity level, not opportunity. - **Courage first** — The number one goal for every person you lead (kids, employees, peers, salespeople) is to reach courage: the courage to take a risk, make the investment, hire the executive you are not comfortable paying yet, or speak in front of an audience. - **The two-hour neutrality test** — Bet-David sold his executives on an idea he had loved for three months and was about to assign an engineering team to. Two hours of questions with an executive who had a study showing otherwise ended with him saying 'You are right, this is a bad idea.' The more questions he asked, the clearer it got. - **The willingness equity example** — A partner tells you that you contribute less than before. The willing response: 'I think the 50 percent I'm getting is a lot right now. I'm happy to sell 20 percent of it for you to go to 30 percent,' because the relationship matters more than the number. - **The fairness retention signal** — When your people start saying 'I don't like the decision, but he is fair,' you are operating at reason, and retention goes up. Fairness is something you can ask your team about directly. - **Reading instruction** — The first three chapters of Power vs. Force are very slow; commit to reaching chapter four, where the chart and the argument arrive. ## Exercises & frameworks to run - **Score yourself on the ladder** _(20 minutes)_ _[speaker]_ 1. Write the levels top to bottom: enlightenment, peace, joy, love, reason, acceptance, willingness, neutrality, courage | pride, anger, desire, fear, grief, apathy, guilt, shame. 2. Draw the line between courage and pride. Above it is power; below it is force. 3. For your business, your money, and your closest relationship, mark honestly the level you are operating from this month. 4. Mark the highest level you have ever reached in each, and note when and why you slipped back. 5. Circle the single rung you will aim for next in each area. - **Finish with:** A three-column self-score with a next target for business, money, and relationships. - **The courage list** _(15 minutes to build, then weekly)_ _[editorial]_ 1. List every decision you have been avoiding for more than two weeks: a hire, an investment, a hard conversation, a stage you have been asked to speak on. 2. Next to each, write the fear underneath it in one honest sentence. 3. Write the courageous version of the decision as one concrete action with a date. 4. Do the first one this week. 5. Cross it off and add the next one to the top. - **Finish with:** A live list of avoided decisions, with the oldest ones cleared first. - **The two-hour neutrality meeting** _(Two hours)_ _[speaker]_ 1. Take the idea you are most excited about and have not yet funded or staffed. 2. Ask two or three trusted people to prepare the strongest case against it. 3. In the meeting, your only job is to ask questions. No defending. 4. At the end, write one paragraph: what I now believe, and what changed. 5. If the idea dies, say so out loud to the team: 'You are right, this is a bad idea for us.' - **Finish with:** A funded idea you can defend on evidence, or a bad idea killed before it cost you an engineering team. - **Partnership willingness check-in** _(45 minutes per partner)_ _[speaker]_ 1. Sit down with each business partner and ask: do you feel my contribution matches my share right now? 2. Listen fully before responding. Ask what they would change. 3. If they believe the split is off, propose one concrete adjustment (role, pay, or equity) within a week. 4. Write down the agreement and the date you will revisit it. - **Finish with:** A partnership where both people can say the split still reflects reality. - **Acceptance inventory** _(15 minutes)_ _[editorial]_ 1. Name the colleague or partner whose way of operating most frustrates you. 2. List the three differences that bother you. 3. For each, write what that difference makes possible for the business that your way does not. 4. Decide which differences you will stop trying to change. - **Finish with:** A short written reframe you can re-read before your next meeting with that person. - **The fairness survey** _(30 minutes plus a week for responses)_ _[editorial]_ 1. Ask five people who report to you, anonymously if possible: 'Would you describe me as fair? When was I not?' 2. Collect the answers without responding. 3. Look for the pattern in the 'when was I not' answers. 4. Pick one decision habit to change and tell the team what it is. - **Finish with:** A fairness baseline you can re-measure next quarter. - **Chart-on-the-wall team training** _(One 30-minute session, then five minutes per one-on-one)_ _[speaker]_ 1. Print the ladder large and put it where the team meets. 2. Walk the team through it once, level by level, using your own examples of where you have been. 3. In every one-on-one where someone is stuck, ask them to point to their level. 4. Agree the first target together: courage. 5. Name the single action that would express courage this week. - **Finish with:** A team with shared vocabulary for where they are and where they are going. - **Rejection reframe for a salesperson** _(10 minutes)_ _[speaker]_ 1. When a salesperson is afraid to make calls, show them the chart and ask where they are. Expect 'fear'. 2. Point to courage and ask what one call made with courage would look like. 3. Have them make that call in front of you. 4. Debrief only on the level they operated from, not on the outcome. - **Finish with:** A salesperson who can name fear and act past it. ## What to do — and how often - [ ] **Order and read Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, pushing through the slow first three chapters to reach the chart in chapter four** — Once, this month _[once; speaker-stated]_ - [ ] **Print the map of consciousness and put it on the wall where your team works** — Once, this week _[once; speaker-stated]_ - [ ] **Train your team on the ladder so they can name their own level** — Speaker said 'all the time'; we suggest a monthly refresher plus use in every one-on-one _[monthly; speaker-stated]_ - [ ] **Score yourself on the ladder for business, money, and your closest relationship** — Every Monday morning _[weekly; editorial recommendation]_ - [ ] **Take one decision you have avoided for more than two weeks and do the courageous version of it** — Every week _[weekly; editorial recommendation]_ - [ ] **Hold a meeting to hear the strongest case against your favourite unfunded idea before committing people to it** — Before every major project commitment; at least quarterly _[quarterly; editorial recommendation]_ - [ ] **Ask each business partner whether the split of work and reward still feels fair, and adjust if not** — Every six months _[quarterly; editorial recommendation]_ - [ ] **Ask five direct reports, anonymously, whether they would call you fair and when you were not** — Every quarter _[quarterly; editorial recommendation]_ - [ ] **Line up at the microphone or volunteer to speak once at an event, even if you fear being cut off** — Once this quarter _[quarterly; editorial recommendation]_ - [ ] **Walk your children through the ladder and ask them to point to where they are on something they are afraid of** — Once, then whenever they are stuck _[once; speaker-stated]_ ## Questions to ask yourself - Which level on the ladder is actually driving my biggest decision this month: fear, pride, or courage? - Where have I reached a level of income or success and slid back, and what identity was I carrying at the time? - What is the investment, hire, or conversation I know I need and have not had the courage to make? - When did I last change my mind in a meeting because someone else had better evidence? - Would my business partner say my share still matches my contribution? Have I asked? - Who on my team do I keep trying to change instead of accept? - Would the people who work for me call me fair, even when they dislike my decisions? - If I showed my salespeople this chart, where would they honestly point? ## Quotes > “Everything is about level of consciousness of where you're at.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:37:31 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > Opening the teaching on the Power vs. Force chart. > “Give them 10 million bucks, they will lose it. Why is that? It's their identity.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:38:09 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > Why some people cannot hold on to money or success. > “People at the bottom try to force things to happen in their lives.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:38:27 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > The force side of the chart. > “That is the lowest level of consciousness any one of us can have in life.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:38:49 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > On shame, the bottom rung. > “So, anger, at least you're expressing how you feel.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:39:48 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > Why anger ranks above fear, grief, apathy, guilt, and shame. > “Have the courage to get up and share your story.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:40:57 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > Courage as the first level of power, illustrated with public speaking. > “Neutrality is somebody that's willing to listen to both sides” — Patrick Bet-David (22:41:16 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > Defining the level above courage. > “Because I'm willing to listen to both sides rather than just have a pride.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:41:48 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > After killing his own three-month idea in a two-hour meeting. > “Business partners who make it work, they have to be in this calibration area.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:42:01 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > On willingness as the minimum level for a lasting partnership. > “I'm willing cuz this relationship matters to me and I want us to grow together.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:42:17 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > Example of agreeing to reduce his own equity to keep a partnership healthy. > “I don't like what she just did, but she is fair.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:46:40 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > What employees say about a leader operating at the level of reason. > “People that are afraid of rejection, you simply go and say look where you are.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:46:58 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > Using the chart to coach salespeople. > “The first three chapters are super slow, you got to make it to the fourth one.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:47:16 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > His reading instruction for Power vs. Force. > “Take this, put it on the wall, train it to your guys all the time to help your team increase level of consciousness.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:47:21 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > The closing instruction of the segment. > “So, they become better teammates, they become better decision makers, they become better individuals, and you look forward to working with these types of people.” — Patrick Bet-David (22:47:29 · sQI7H1oehVfcK9rnNtj4) > > The payoff of training a team on the ladder. ## Watch-outs - Treating the ladder as a way to rank people's worth rather than as a vocabulary for where someone is right now and what one rung up looks like. - Mistaking pride for strength: pride gets you to act, but it is what stops you hearing the case against your own idea. - Confusing the 'desire' on this chart (negative craving) with healthy ambition; Bet-David was explicit that they are different. - Committing engineers and budget to an idea you love before running a real meeting to hear the other side. - Refusing to renegotiate a partnership split when your contribution has changed, and losing the partner over the number. - Note: the Hawkins scale is a book framework, not a validated psychological instrument; use it as a reflection tool, not a diagnosis. - Note: Bet-David's long prank story about a flight and a colleague, told to illustrate acceptance, has been omitted as it contains no usable lesson and includes off-colour content. --- Cole's Notes Vault 2026 — https://vault.chels.ai — built by chels.ai (https://chels.ai). Only stage content is published; quotes are verbatim from automatic transcripts with light punctuation. Speaker-stated cadence and editorial recommendations are labelled separately. Times are Eastern; Las Vegas was three hours earlier.